the reader in a quiet corner

I hate Doug Swieteck.

I hate what a chump he is, that he's a bundle of insecurities, conflicts, trying to be a tough guy, but really he's soft inside. You can't believe how much I dislike "bad boys", I can't believe Doug could make me hate him so much. Here's this troubled kid, with quite a shitty dad, a troublesome brother, thank God he has a wonderful mother,and this new kid in town, Doug, no one likes him, he's not exactly Holling Hoodhood, but he's a really good kid. A really good kid. And that's why I hate him so much. He makes me care about him so much. Do you know what that feels like?

If I haven't become a full fledged fan of Gary D. Schmidt in [b:The Wednesday Wars|556136|The Wednesday Wars|Gary D. Schmidt|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1348254942s/556136.jpg|2586820], I certainly have become one in Okay For Now. You can just tell from the title that there's gonna be heartbreak in this story. *Spoiler alert* Yeah, there is.

But, you know what, there's gonna be solace, too.

Doug Swieteck is a very endearing kid. I loved his voice. And though I saw elements similar to The Wednesday Wars, it was alright. Disney manages to produce films with the same elements, and yet we flock to their films over and over again. They make one feel good.

Like in TWW, Schmidt used forms of art - literature, poetry and paintings from [b:Birds of America|155842|Birds of America|John James Audubon|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1172260545s/155842.jpg|150379] in Okay For Now - to mirror the protagonist's conflicts and growth as we read through the story. I have to say I love that style. I've always wanted to write in that style, because it's true: Art mirrors Life.

Schmidt knows how to write delightfully flawed characters. And the gem of this book was Doug.

*7 stars One of the most delightful heroes I've read. I can't believe I could find another guy I like more than Holling, but I did. Prepare to dislike or utterly hate Doug for it.

**P.s. If you haven't read [b:The Wednesday Wars|556136|The Wednesday Wars|Gary D. Schmidt|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1348254942s/556136.jpg|2586820], then what are you waiting for?

I'm starting to think I'm not at all for this sci-fi thing. Well, reading sci-fi anyway. The first half of the book I was like



Scratch that, that was the way I was throughout the whole book.

Ender is six when we begin, and already he has mastered Algebra, and is capable of beating another six-year old to a pulp. A six-year old bully, btw. Seriously. Six-year old bully. It wasn't so much the beating that got to me, but Ender's way of thinking: like a battler, like a soldier: "One punch isn't enough, I need to show these kids they can't mess with me anymore". So what does he do, he beats the kid so bad, he needed surgery. Not to mention, he has genius siblings as well, and a sociopath ten-year-old brother.

Maybe it's just me, being an older reader, and I think the target audience of this book was younger, but I did not enjoy it as much as I wanted to. This is one of those books one should read as a teenager.

Ender and all his friends/enemies/allies in Battle School all are 12 years old or younger, and didn't feel in any way like children. It was quite easy to forget I was reading a scene between a 7-year old and a 9-year old, they were that mature in their way of thinking and speaking. Which, I guess, was Card's point, only I didn't like it. I don't care if these were gifted children, you can't ruin their childhood like this.

It also didn't help that I could not appreciate battle tactics and the actual battles themselves, probably because I'm such a pacifist, or my imagination just doesn't run in that direction. The enemy gate is down? What does that mean?! (I'm sorry I'm an idiot)

If the movie for this comes out, I will definitely be watching, curious about these game-battles Ender plays.The first look of the movie definitely didn't feature a six-year old Ender, they were young adults standing in line with Harrison Ford, so I guess, no naked 10-year-olds, folks.

I did like Ender, though, and felt for him, the poor genius bastard. Everything he did was perfect, just the right thing to do, and Ender knew it, and even that could weigh on a person.


The humanity of the characters, at one short moment I forgot I was reading about children, saved me from giving this book 2 stars. Especially considering Card's introduction


*2.5 - 3 stars I cannot get over the fact that these were kids, and what was the point of ruining children's lives to save the world? Couldn't they have trained young adults, if not adults, to battle? Seriously. How can adults put the weight of humanity on children's shoulders and depend their lives on them? It didn't feel realistic to me at all.

Sure, child soldiers exist, and one can argue that there never is a perfect or unruined childhood. I still did not like it.

Update: 2.19.13 My copy of the book is the one with Card's Introduction, and the reason I didn't read it first was because I always felt that Introductions ruin someone's reading experience. Or that it gave away ideas I couldn't even understand, since I haven't read the novel yet, so what was the point of an introduction? I think it was either Neil Gaiman or Paulo Coelho that said: Introductions should be ignored.

Reading Card's introduction, I wonder if my reading experience would have changed if I read it first. Coz it sure felt like it was manipulating me to like and accept the fact that these kids talked and acted like adults. My childhood wasn't free of trauma, but I honestly didn't know anything when I was six. And here was Ender, the weight of humanity on his puny 6-year old shoulders. What. The. Hell.

One reviewer even said that in his introduction, Card was smug. Which I kind of see.

Introductions do kind of ruin the book.

I can't believe I tortured myself yet again with a YA love story, especially since I'm going to be



Apparently, I'm that much of a masochist.

Fortunately, this isn't just a love story.

All her life, Jeeta has come to expect that after she graduates, nothing will matter except getting married to an eligible man, a man whom her mother will arrange for her. Her eldest sister, after many years of trying, finally gets married. It's only a matter of time before her second sister gets married (it's easy, she's pretty), and finally it will be Jeeta's turn. She doesn't think it will be that easy, nor does her mother, since Jeeta has undesirably dark skin, and a quick and sharp tongue. Jeeta starts to question whether or not to follow tradition when she meets Neel, the cousin of her new-found friend.

This book lets you see the good and bad side of tradition, especially that of an arranged marriage. I personally feel that passionate love is overrated anyway, and I could live with an arranged marriage. It's not just about passion and love, but a mutual respect for each other, and the desire to build something good. Like Antoine Saint-Exupery said:

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."

Which just so happens to be one of my favorite quotes.

Jeeta also, along the course of the book, discovers the strengths and abilities she's capable of, and also comes to terms with her mother about custom versus her desire to make a career for herself.

Of course, I can't forget the love angle. Neel and Jeeta, well, it's first love, and I have to say I envy Jeeta. When Jeeta was falling in love with Neel, dang, I felt it. When she was spending time with him, I wished I had someone like Neel to spend that time with. Theirs is a romance quiet but strong, but not without flaws. Exactly my cup of tea.

In the end, it was all about Jeeta, and her coming of age. I'm glad Jeeta came out of it with much more confidence in herself.

And maybe I can, too.

*4 stars. The second read was better. I think this is one of those books that get better with each rereading.

If there's anything Warm Bodies taught me, it is that when I survive a zombie apocalypse I will definitely ransack museums and steal original works of art to display in my bedroom. That includes Van Gogh's paintings, perhaps Seraphine Louis' paintings, and if I'm really ambitious and superhuman, I'll take Michaelangelo's David. Who's with me?




I never thought I'd get into zombie novels. Heck, I'm such a scaredy cat, I didn't watch horror movies unless I was strongly coerced by my friends, and that didn't happen often. The only zombie movie I watched was 28 Days Later, and that was because Cillian Murphy was in it. Nowadays, I'm not so squeemish, I mean, I did enjoy The Cabin in the Woods.

Who knew zombie novels can be allegories of society? I didn't. I sometimes feel like a zombie myself, or think that the people around me are zombies - not living, merely existing. This zombie novel...wow. Forget vampires, ghosts and werewolves, zombie novels are where it's at!

R was witty and introspective, and that was alluring. Who wouldn't want a guy like that, even if he was a rotting corpse? Okay, okay, it's not for everybody.... Of course, R had to be gorgeous once he was cleaned up, so...let me eat up that man!(If you know a better term for "eat him up" let me know).

What I liked about Warm Bodies is that it didn't focus on the metaphors(I have a sneaking suspicion that it's a given in zombie books), it was philosophical but also really entertaining, not to mention the Beatles references.

I grin. "Hello."
"What are you doing here?" she hisses, trying to keep her voice down.
I shrug, deciding that this gesture, while easy to abuse, does have its place. It may even be vital vocabulary in a world as unspeakable as ours.
"Came to . . . see you."
"But I had to go home, remember? You were supposed to say goodbye."
"Don't know why you . . . say goodbye. I say . . . hello."

Man that cracked me up.

Thanks to 28 Days Later, I was able to imagine vividly the kind of world R lives in, and I just loved reading about those renegade zombies whose emotions are being stirred, but could only manage a grunt when R decided to chase after Julie and these apathetic beings decided to help him.


*5 stars It was weird, with bursts of profundity, with characters that are not typical. Despite the parallels between Romeo and Juliet and Warm Bodies (R is Romeo, Julie is Juliet, M is Mercutio, and Nora is Nurse..blah blah blah, who didn't see that coming?), R and Julie are far from the angsty, lovestruck, and ultimately tragic Shakespearean pair.

I am looking forward to reading [b:The Reapers Are the Angels|8051458|The Reapers Are the Angels (Reapers, #1)|Alden Bell|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1317066698s/8051458.jpg|12707063] which I read was pretty awesome as well. Oh, and the sequel to Warm Bodies, of course.

I thought I could go for a good road trip story, but this one just didn't do the trick. I've watched a crazy road trip movie, Interstate 60: Episodes of the Road, with the charming and one of my favorites, James Marsden, and I really liked that.


The Car really is about a car. The first third of the book I think involved assembling Terry's kit car and then Terry learning how to drive it. Then he meets two Vietnam war veterans and they go "trucking". It's supposed to be some coming-of-age/ life-changing story, but I didn't really learn much or see anything special with it. I like my descriptions poetic, and emotions palpable. This was just ... okay.

I've got to break this reading slump soon because all I seem to be reading these days are 2-star books. :/

I give up. I've been meaning to put it down several times, but a part of me wanted to read this through the end. But right now, I just don't care anymore. Life is too short and there are other books beckoning, and would probably engage me.

It was a long shot anyway, I'm not really into adult romance these days. Bitten would be pretty alright, for fans of werewolves. Kelley Armstrong knows how to make good stories. This just wasn't my cup of tea, I guess.

I really liked the film version of this, but the book bored me to tears. I don't know if it's just the problem of the translation. It was a struggle to read, and I couldn't bring myself to finish or care about its last 100-or-so pages.

To sum up my feelings right now:



Seriously. It's unlike any I've ever read, but that's not necessarily a good thing.

It started out just fine. Helen is a 130 year old ghost, cursed to haunt this earth for a reason she hides from herself. She clings to hosts, and it has taken her to different places, until the day she met another being like herself. You'd think that ghosts can see other ghosts, but, no, Helen has passed her time alone and unable to feel or talk to anyone.

This was an incredible and intriguing concept to me, and the reason I wanted to devour this book as soon as I can. Helen then meets James, a Light being like Helen herself, who had been haunting for years, alone, until he sees a boy, dying from a drug overdose, and took over his body.

Now, the first part was pretty alright. I loved how these two people, er, ghosts, met after long years of being alone and lonely, and fell in love. How can they not? If you really like stories where the two protagonists were "destined to meet", then I think you'll like this one.

Things spiraled out of control when we find out that the bodies that James and Helen eventually take over have troubled lives. It just seems that they can't be together as humans. There are all these conflicts. And then, there were the mysteries of Helen and James' past lives, and the reason they can't enter heaven. A lot was going on, and I felt like they didn't coalesce.


I really like endings where everything is tied up neatly, if not happily, and this one just felt...rushed. And it was definitely not tied up neatly. What about Mr Brown? His reputation was ruined. He'll eventually have to resign from teaching and move to another town, but his name will always be tainted by a crime that he didn't commit. Dammit. Give Mr Brown a little justice! urgh

Also, how is Jenny going to reconcile with the fact that she had sex without her knowing and remembering it?


In the end, I think this book didn't end up like what I expected it to be. The romance was not my cup of tea. I was shocked with how irresponsibly James and Helen used Billy and Jenny's bodies, and probably ruined the lives of those around them. But other concepts, like the idea of God and his reasons, and the idiocy of people who cling to religion, were points that I liked.

The romantic in me would give this 4 stars, but the rational part in me, which dominates, deduces one star because of how everything was handled quite callously.

I reserve my 5-star rating for when I reread this novel and when I fully comprehend it. Though when I read this as a requirement in high school, I was awed by how brilliantly Rizal wrote it, respected him at last and finally understood why he was our national hero, and I loved my mother tongue even more.

People who have come close to seeking death don't understand its promise of an end to life's struggles. They don't understand the precarious teeter-totter on which a suicidal person balances, shuffling reasons to live and reasons to die, back and forth, to avoid hitting rock bottom. They don't understand that when you're that low, when you can't see beyond yourself and your fallen-apart world, it's the little things that send you over the edge, not the big things.

Suicide is such a hard topic to write. Or even discuss. There's always some resentment, ill-feelings, of the ones left behind. And for quite a time, I struggled to be on good terms with this book. After reading the underwhelming Thirteen Reasons Why, I was a bit skeptical reading books about suicide, and I wanted to find out if Aimee was better than the aforementioned well-known book.


And then I finally began to understand. Sometimes, the promise of an end to life's struggles through death can be so tempting. When people are so low, they cannot see beyond themselves and their desperation. Should we hate our loved ones or acquaintances that committed suicide and left us behind because they were so weak to help themselves?

In Aimee, Miller has managed to capture the voice of a torn teenager, who has just lost her best friend, and who believes that she was responsible for her death. Don't we all blame ourselves one way or another for another person's death? Zoe, the narrator, used to be happy, though not without problems of her own. But Aimee's death changed her life, and accounts for the dark tone the book follows. Everybody believes she helped Aimee kill herself,and eventually Zoe is cut of from her friends and old life. In Aimee, Zoe will have to face her struggles and reconcile herself with her friend's death.

I think this was a very good book on suicide, albeit my limited experience with books about troubled teens. I'm only giving this 3 stars because I'm a rainbows and sunshine kind of girl, and this book was dark and angsty for me.

At last, I finished this grand novel! The incredible world-building alone deserves 5+ stars, but in the end, I can only bestow 3.5 stars based on my reading experience.

Honestly, if you like to immerse yourself in a completely different and well-imagined world, you should give Dune a chance. Frank Herbert has managed to think even the agricultural aspect of his desert planet, let alone the political complexities in his interplanetary universe. I have to admit, though I was impressed with how he thought up the political and agricultural aspect of the book, they all went over my head. I can't even begin to understand politics in the real world, let alone in Dune.

What I admired was the religious/mysticism aspect of the novel. Of reading about people responding to superstitions and prophecies, and then finding out there wasn't really mysticism in it, it was all manipulated. Wait, not all. In the end, even Herbert admitted to an "unexpected variable", easily open to speculation. I guess this is what I liked most: the blending of science and mysticism.

Oh, and I almost forgot my utter admiration for the Fremen tribe's(the natives of the Desert Planet) discipline.

“The Fremen were supreme in that quality the ancients called "spannungsbogen" -- which is the self-imposed delay between desire for a thing and the act of reaching out to grasp that thing.”

You see, the Fremen's dream is to see their home planet nurturing plants that thrive, to see "green" in all that dust. But they are well aware that this could not happen not for a hundred years, or even a thousand years. But it's possible. So they live day to day, sacrificing what they could to achieve their dream, for the future, for their children's children. If only everyone on Earth acted like that, eh?


Even though it was a struggle to read, I'm pretty proud of myself for reading this all the way through. Was it worth it? I think so.

This was exactly the kind of light reading I needed while I sludged through the grand book that is [b:Dune|234225|Dune|Frank Herbert|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1349105964s/234225.jpg|3634639].

Meet Gretchen Yee, a relatively ordinary girl in a school where everyone is "different" and everyone is "special". She eats lunch mostly alone now, since her best friend is always busy hanging out with the Art Rats, also she doesn't have the nerve to talk to her crush, Titus. One day she wishes she was a fly in the wall of the boy's locker room, then literally becomes one, and the fun ensues.

I found it funny that most of her schoolmates, in being outspoken in their individuality, lost their individuality. (I actually pride myself in being "different" but in a world where everyone strives to be different - by shocking people - suddenly I don't want to be different. Nonconformity-conformity makes sense to me.)

It is ironically Gretchen who maintains her individuality by sticking to what she loves and who she is. How can you not like a girl who's finally figured out who she is, and decides to live her life? The kind of girl who doesn't just think:

“I love the idea of the big life - the life that matters, the life that makes a difference. The life where stuff happens, where people take action. The opposite of the life where the girl can't even speak to the boy she likes; the opposite of the life where the friends aren't even good friends, and lots of days are wasted away feeling bored and kind of okay, like nothing matters much.”

but actually gets it.


I'm a little dissatisfied with the resolutions, though. Everything was tied up neatly, except for the bullying part. So it doesn't count as a completely happy ending to me.

Overall, *3.5 stars. It was funny and sweet and just feel-good. Perfect for light reading.

I have got to stop finding books that seek to nourish my "intellectual" side. At this period of my life, I need hearty novels, not intellectual ones. Though if the novel manages to affect me emotionally and intellectually then that's a novel I need to find.

In the world of 1984, the Party controls the past, and thus, man. It's a world where the Upper Class stay high, and keep the power. I don't understand much how they did it, but they managed to make people believe in lies, even when they were so blatantly false - "doublethink". Their slogans:

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Every move is monitored and any small suspicion of going against the Party, you are tortured and/or eradicated. It's a world where emotion is expunged, individuality is shunned, and children betray their own parents, and the parents are proud of them for it.

It's horrifying.

I'm rating this based on my enjoyment of the book, thus the two stars. Like I said, all this cerebral-ness just isn't my cup of tea lately.

For sure, I loved the ideas in this book. Winston Smith's struggle against the Party is relate-able and poignant. Thus his utter defeat in the end is frustrating, and generally speaks to all of us: If you don't want what happened to Winston happen to you, don't let it.

The world may not turn out exactly like in 1984, but at the heart of it - the hopelessness of man - just may be possible, or is possibly happening. In fact, when O'Brien said that the proles (or the Lower Class) will never revolt, I just about agreed with him. Isn't that's what's happening now?

If there was hope, it lay in the proles

Hope lay in the proles the Lower Class because they are the most numerous. But will they ever wake up? Will we ever achieve the Utopia?

I just came to realize how utterly satisfying my life is, to be able to write this down, read what I want to read, and learn what I want to learn. We still have freedom. We won't achieve Utopia. There will always be an Upper, Middle, and Lower Class. But there will always be humanity, too, and there will always be hope.

*2.5 stars. Great concept, brilliant ideas, but I didn't enjoy the writing.

I actually find myself in the minority here, since I’m one of the [apparent] few who were relatively underwhelmed with this book. It’s a pity, really, since I so wanted to like it because the book was given to me by my brother for my birthday. (In a way, I did like it. More on that later.)

If I Stay is the story of 17-year old Mia, who loses her family instantly in a car accident, while she is "stuck in limbo", watching the after-effects of the accident, while reminiscing about her past, which will all ultimately affect her choice: Will she let herself live or die?

Sometimes I think there’s something wrong with me, if I can’t be touched by a book which everyone is just raving about, and that evoked emotions in them. I’m not a stoic person, no matter how much some of my friends insist I am. I've read [b:The Book Thief|19063|The Book Thief|Markus Zusak|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1352395325s/19063.jpg|878368] for Pete’s sake, and it devastated me. Other than that, there had been [b:The Wednesday Wars|556136|The Wednesday Wars|Gary D. Schmidt|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1348254942s/556136.jpg|2586820], [b:Ain't She Sweet?|790144|Ain't She Sweet?|Susan Elizabeth Phillips|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1347668874s/790144.jpg|2538], [b:A Walk to Remember|3473|A Walk to Remember|Nicholas Sparks|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1344269407s/3473.jpg|3143497], and a handful of other books.

I still can't pinpoint what was off with it, and maybe I never will. Maybe it was the kind of wish-fulfillment I found in it. (I can't believe I have problems with wish-fulfillment, btw, since I'm a notorious daydreamer). The kind of family Mia has is something to envy, it's the kind I only see in movies. Not that I'm dissatisfied with my family. I honestly love them. I cannot imagine losing them.

But Mia's family - her father's an ex-band member who married her mother at a relatively young age because he preferred the idea of calling her "wife" rather than plain old "girlfriend". Her mother is a "tough as nails, tender as kittens feminist bitch". In short, her parents are cool. And her brother Teddy, well, he was adorable. Not only that, but Mia has a, dare I say, "perfect boyfriend". I personally don't prefer a guy like Adam Wilde so once again, I am in a minority, where almost everyone swoons over him. Even though I felt like I should sigh and be giddy with their courtship, I didn't. How, when I've read adorable couples in [b:Dairy Queen|16178|Dairy Queen (Dairy Queen, #1)|Catherine Gilbert Murdock|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1347858197s/16178.jpg|564970] and The Darkest Powers trilogy?

Maybe I found it a little too perfect that I can't relate to the characters anymore. Maybe I've read way too many books that If I Stay pales in comparison. Maybe.

At most, I give this 2.5 stars, because I loved the music angle. Lately I've been needing to find books which incorporate classical music in it. I confess I'm not a band person. Though there are bands I love listening to, I'm not an avid rock music fan like Forman apparently is. What I loved was the classical music. I will one day track down Mia's soundtrack! (The love of classical has all been [b:Nodame Cantabile |1261277|Nodame Cantabile 1|Tomoko Ninomiya|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1320457824s/1261277.jpg|1250120]'s fault, a series I find quite close to perfect).

And even though this book was "just okay" to me, it doesn't diminish my desire to read [b:Where She Went|8492825|Where She Went (If I Stay, #2)|Gayle Forman|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1347810457s/8492825.jpg|10706553]. I'm just so curious to read about Mia and Adam's breakup story. Plus, it means more music!

Yes, it's melodramatic. Yes, the narration can be confusing if you don't pay much attention (which is why I couldn't understand it the first time I read it). And yes, Catherine and Heathcliff are two quite unlikable characters, it astonishes me that two selfish people can find "true love", and what's more, they get a twisted but happy ending.

But, man, I can proudly say that Wuthering Heights is a great novel. The greatest? No. But definitely high up there. Maybe along with Romeo and Juliet, because it reminded me of my reading experience with this book. Both books are misunderstood/have plenty of misconceptions, and even I was victim to their misconceptions. Both have unlikable characters who get their "happy ending" in the afterlife, and people either hate em or love em. Both I really liked despite my previous prejudice towards these books. And both I really respect for the way they were written. I just frickin love books with a way with words. (see added quotes). I may be a weirdo who likes reading the classics, but for sure, I do not praise all of them. Or maybe it's because I'm so weird that I like this book. It does have some weird development between the cousins Hareton and Catherine Jr. And it's different because the characters are anti-heroes.

Weirdness + Well-written = Must be my cup of tea. lol


What I really loved most was these characters' passion. Being a phlegmatic person, I was very much entertained by these people whose natures are nothing like mine. They love and hate violently. They can like a person instantly, and in just a few hours, after a slight insult, hate them (in Catherine Jr's instance). And all this passion, from a practically sheltered Emily Bronte. Charlotte Bronte said something about her sister's writing: that it was raw, with a child's innocence (not her exact words). Truly, Wuthering Heights is an unforgettable novel. I'm glad I read it again as an adult, when I can appreciate it.

*4.5 stars

Weird, illogical, goofy and crazy, Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger is hilarious . It's just the kind of book which tickles my funny bone because it's just so, well, strange .

Your school consists of 30 stories, each story with only one classroom, and the elevator only goes up but never down. Wait, don't forget that there's no nineteenth floor but you could swear you can hear cows from there.. Your dentist is a hypnotist, and your substitute teacher has 3 nostrils. God, I just loved the craziness of it all.

Each chapter is a vignette, but some come together to form a story. It's okay if you didn't read the first 2 books, I think it just added to the hilarity. And you know what, amidst the goofiness of it all, there was something sweet and something profound inserted in between the pages, which is the kind of thing I admire in Louis Sachar's works.

Its humour isn't for everybody (one of my friends couldn't appreciate what made this book so funny to me), but I don't really care. I'm a weirdo and this book is for me.